Editor’s notes: Some Yoruba men seem to be opting for women of other tribes for marriage. Oladele Hakeem, a Naij.com content editor, writes on some of the possible reasons for this trend.
A typical Yoruba man is traditional in thinking. He does not joke with his status as the man of the house if he eventually becomes a husband. He wants to have a wife that is submissive. He does not want to have a wife that nags on petty issues. He wants a woman who understands his feelings. He uses everything at his disposal to make sure he finds the right partner. However, some Yoruba men these days feel that Yoruba women are becoming hard-nuts for them to crack. They believe if they marry women of other tribal lineage, they would have a more blissful home. They travel as far to some interior towns in the country to get their life partners. They do say that since God created everybody from Adam and Eve, there is no problem if they marry non-Yoruba.
The reasons they give for their actions centred on some of those highlighted below
1. High taste
Currently, Yoruba women are number one when it comes to using expensive adornments. They travel as far as Dubai, Rome, Paris and London just to buy jewelleries, designer shoes, assorted cloths, perfumes and bags among others. They do these not for business purposes. This is just for their personal use. A Yoruba guy becomes scared if the girl he is interested in is of this type. He thinks about his pocket and salary. He does not want a lady who is too demanding. He believes if he marries an Igbo girl for instance, he only needs to worry about the pride price and not all these expensive wares.
2. Detest for Kitchen
A great number of Yoruba women are becoming Spaghetti and Noodles ladies. They love going to fast food joints to eat. They passionately detest cooking. They cherish their make-up and manicure more than sweating just because they want to prepare food for a man. They would rather employ cooks and house helps to do these things. It is no more a new thing to see these sets of women buy fast food for their husbands as home meal. Since a man loves good food, he rather finds a suitable substitute from other tribes as wife.
How will a woman who will become a man’s wife look down upon a man that comes to woo her? This is common more with Yoruba ladies. They see men as their hand towels. They believe they can talk to them the way they like. On the other hand, Yoruba men abhor this. This in turn makes them make a U-turn on choice of spouse. They therefore look elsewhere.
4. Just me and my husband
No man wants to have as wife a woman who does not want to see her in-laws. Often its a situation whereby the Yoruba woman does not want her mother in-law to visit her son. She believes that her mother in-law is a threat to her having a happy home. If a Yoruba man finds out this behaviour during courtship, he in no time ends the relationship. He likewise finds a woman from another tribe who respects his mother. This is because men do not joke with their mothers.
5. High level of curiosity
Lack of trust destroys relationships. Some Yoruba women always monitor their men. They check the call log and messages in their men’s handsets. They monitor everything about their men. They feel so jealous if they know their men talk to any other woman apart from them. This makes the men feel irritated. They therefore think of other women that will give them peace of mind.
6. Poor manners
No man would stand a woman without good manners. Yoruba men cherish women who treat them as kings. This is changing presently. Yoruba women see no reason why they should submit themselves to men.
7. Class difference
The class difference between some Yoruba men and women is becoming wider. Many Yoruba women belong to the crème de la crème of the society. This intimidates Yoruba men. They would rather have a lady who is not much wealthy as wives than women who move around in SUVs.
8. Education disparity
Yorubas generally love education. They have the highest number of University graduates in Nigeria. This is also the same for postgraduate degrees. Yoruba women occupy top positions in many organisations because they are well educated. This sends shivers down the spines of Yoruba men. They become frightened that if they marry these women, in no time will they become the wife.
9. Little or no commitment
A few numbers of Yoruba women are not committed to serious relationships that would lead to marriage. They believe they have to enjoy life before marriage. They are less dedicated. They believe they have to be financially independent. They do tell the men that they are not ready until they get to a particular age. On knowing this, Yoruba men look for women of other tribes who show commitment towards marriage.
10. Game playing
Yoruba women are the best when it comes to playing with men like draught. A single Yoruba woman can keep like five boyfriends at the same time. She collects different things and items from them. She sees all of them as her fall guys. She also uses some of these men as ladders to get to richer men. After getting what she desires, she leaves the former men. As this continues and some of these men interested in her discover, they dump her immediately.
11. Past experience
Yoruba men love women who have little or no nasty previous experience. These past experiences include numbers of failed relationships, single motherhood and divorce. All these are more common with some Yoruba women who change men as cloths. Thus, no responsible man feels attracted to these types of women.
12. Highly secretive
Some Yoruba women keep things their men should know about them to themselves. This could be about something not so good. They believe that they should know everything about their men, while the men should know little or nothing about them. As Yoruba men have started finding out this, it is making Yoruba women less-appealing to them.
13. Want to be the Captain of the ship
No two captains can steer a single ship. Yoruba men are not happy because their women want to give out instructions the way they do. These women see themselves playing the roles of men at homes.
14. Marriage; not now!
Marriage makes a bachelor or a spinster to become more responsible. It makes him or her think that there is someone at home waiting for him or her after the days work. This perception is fast fading out among some educated and working class Yoruba ladies.
15. Obsession with social media
The advent of Facebook, Twitter, Badoo, 2go, We chat, Whatsapp and other social sites have created a phantom world for a good numbers of Yoruba girls. They love virtual relationships and late night communications with men they may never see eye to eye. They chat with different species of men and show no interest in settling down with a part icular man. Even if they have a man that plans to marry them, they still have several other backups. They believe they can get another man if their present man leaves them. As Yoruba men are starting to know about this dangerous trend, they are looking at other places for women that will serve as safer havens for them.
Life is about choice. Everyone has the right to choose whatever would bring smile to his face and tranquility to his heart. Therefore, everybody has the right to marry from any tribe or race he so wishes.